kenapa saya tak suka sekolah/kolej saya? [limited edition] [don't read this, u'll hate it]

haha, korg jangan terkejut tajuk yang tak bley blah dan brani mati tu...just a brief before we reach the end k. i'll come out with "kenapa saya suka kolej saya?" edition bila sampai msa yang sesuai. for this moment, mood : daa...!?. i got a confession to be made. yeah, mse first time aku sampai kt kolej aku, KYUEM to be specific, aku mmg excited sangat. i got my own room! so aku bley la berangan sorg2 without gangguan. i can sleep whatever style aku ske, aku bley study ble2 mase aku nak, aku bley arrange all the stuff kt dalam bilik tu ikut suka aku. hurm, dh masuk skit the part i like about this college. thats y la aku letak [limited edition] after the main title sebab skit jek yang aku x ske, to be honest la. kt kolej aku nie, the one yang buat aku suffer the most; too much emotion involved. aku fed up! from the beginning hingga lah the moment aku nak blah dri kolej nie, still emotion menjadi taruhan. frankly speaking, aku emo. aku tak ske tunjuk kat sini because ade lagi org laen yang double triple quadraple emo dri aku. aku g rc or class, ade jek bnde tak best. g dh or cafe ade jek emotion interruption tapi aku just ignore it. why? i'm living in society, WE are living in society, just accept that. believe me, i do HATE society but hei, this is reality. kalau someone said i'm a hypocrite sebab senyuman suma palsu. yeah, to be honest, aku hypocrite SOMETIMES. aku accept that, but just look at yourself, ask to urself, "am i a hypocrite?" biar aku tolong jawab, "yes, u are SOMETIMES!" u hate this person because lots of reason; he's a genius, he's a nuisance, he's too LOUD, he's too silent(da..?), he's everything. tapi ape yang korg buat? u just make friend with him. u smile to him everyday, lastly u ditch him mentah2 bila dh tak jmpe. hei, let me remind uols, WE all ade perasaan. tau tak how difficult for me to jaga all others emotion? but mine? i crushed it into particles! even bila aku lakukan kesilapan kecik pun, i suffer sebab aku takut that person terluka. tau tak aku penat to say sorry for everything i've done wrong? terlanggar bahu korg, datang lambat 5 minutes or anything lah, i keep saying sorry. remember, I do have feelin'. WE do have feelin'. hah, i hateD hypocrites TOO MUCH before but now, i want to be on their side, ONLY when it involves feelin'. i keep mentioning about good muslims characteristics, here i am, aku mengaku i'm not reaching too far for that. aku just want to be constant to go to surau every maghrib prayers, and aku tau tak layak aku nak cakap anything about good muslims characteristics. but, hei, i'm trying! help me out here! tau tak how much i'm struggling for this one? i'm struggling! let me story uols about my background. just keep this to urself, learn from it. just don't hate me. aku dapat full freedom from my parents exactly after SPM. before SPM, aku bley kuar only till 10 p.m. after SPM, tau tak when i'll be back to my house? 6 A.M. cuz i got all my freedom. my parents tak kata ape pun, just ask, "g mane semalam?" aku tak pernah kena sebat klu tak cukup sembahyang. don't conclude yet. my family members suma cukup sembahyang, just ME the one yang leka. u know why? sbb kawan. i live in hostel from form 1 till now. aku tau kat sini at least pendedahan islam sgt la best, kat tmpat aku, yeah, we do get that kind of society, but aku tercampak dalam society yang berbeza, let me be specific ** ***** *******[for those yang dh bce, just keep it for urself], do remember that. tau tak cmner kawan2 aku? they do drugs, ecstasy and even beers/whisky/margarita and whatever the pieces of shit they are. diorg dh ade intimate partners even when we were 17! tau tak sape? MUSLIMS. ingat barat keparat ke ape. HEI, I'M NOT DOING THAT ALL KINDS OF CRAP! i just watched, bayangkan korg kt tempat aku when we're form 1. FORM 1! here what i think my condition is; aku kain, tercampak kat atas jalan yang berlumpur, kena percikan lumpur for 5 years. 5 YEARS! then someone pick the kain and bring it home to wash it. here it comes to this society we live in, KYUEM. the person nak basuh the kain with other kain, but family members dia avoid her to wash them together. oh, the kain got feelin'! huh, enough with kain. tau tak aku bersyukur sangat aku dapat sampai kt KYUEM nie? islam, so beautiful. although i'm a muslim, bru jek aku nampak that beauty.[although ade gak kucing beso yang kurap banyak kat tepi2 jalan berpasang-pasangan] tau tak cmner kat surau aku dulu? not all batch la, just MY batch. my friends drunk then pegi surau! muntah kat situ. aku marah tau tak! mase sembahyang suma tak nak jadi imam, the only one head boy jek every night and 5 surau members. then sempat kacau org masa sembahyang. oh God, how sinful aku dulu! hei, sekali lagi, i didn't do that! u just watched! terkena tempias celaka tu. just don't be sinis with me. help me out here, i do need help. i do need companions. just don't ignore my existence although uols tgh emo. i'm learning now...just watch me, korg akan nampak, i always blur~~i'm learning, just don't leave me hanging alone. i'm the one with questions. i'm the kain, uols the bleach, help me out! T.T argh, just don't be sinis with me, i hate it. i'm LEARNING! hello, i'm here. nampak tak? kalau tak suka my attitutes just say it. aku akan cuba ubah. just don't jaja keburukan org lain. read my previous post yet? mulut tu akan kena percikan api neraka jahanam siri ke-12 tahap ke3 gabungan goku dan gohan. just wait and see. peace.

[p/s : kan dh cakap jgn bace. huhu, kalau dh bace hopefully korg leh nampak what type of person i am kn? just observe]